A Tale of Slime

Sometimes we suffer from delayed reactions, sometimes with assistance but mostly on our own. Anyway, a month or so ago Deb & I traveled across the state to attend the now famous LieFest1.5 in honor of the Asshole Swede. In attendance were many an Asshole and many a Slug including one directly from the home land. Given the heat and humidity, however, there is some resistance to sliming from external sources and we felt relatively safe after a fashion. There was some concern as we made frequent trips to the frosty cabin that some well placed slime might present a clear and present danger.....however, we remained slime free. Or so we thought. In severe heat and humidity, it appears that banana slug slime undergoes some relative density changes and forms various compounds which resemble the naturally occurring hallucinogen Mescaline. The dilution of this compound with the ever present bodily sweat and the difficulties of absorption through the skin can leave one thinking he/she has not been slimed. But, these pesky compounds will remain in the system in a quasi-dormant state until conditions are right for "the experience".

I was sitting at the virtual vehicle pleasantly typing away and noticed a fine film emanating from the disk drive that looked solid and a bit like mylar. This illusion made me reach to remove the film, yet it was in fact a slimy liquid that got all over my hands.......and what does one do when he/she gets an unknown liquid on their hands.......they sniff it! This was all it took. I was immediately transferred back in time to LieFest1.5 on the first evening. I was in my bunk and had to slip outside for some relief. Not wanting to hike all the way to the facilities, I took refuge next to a large tree. As I proceeded with the task in hand, a voice very close said, "thief"! The patterns of liquid and sand at my feet became much less uniform as I surveyed the immediate area. On the side of the tree was the biggest banana slug I could ever imagine. It was clear that I was in danger. Trying hard to keep my cool, I concluded my business and started to back away. The large Gastropod then said, "not so fast SENS boy". There was menace in his voice, yet his attention seemed divided and only one eye was on me as the other seemed very interested in the A/C unit hanging from the back of the cabin. "Where do you get off stealing the concept of the brotherhood of the slug and calling it SENS", he asked. Seeing a possible out by technicality, I tried to illustrate that the SENS name wasn't my idea, but that the author of the phrase was, in fact, in the immediate area. This enormous slug would have none of it and pasted me with a deluge of warm, sickly sweet ooze. As I surveyed the extent of the sliming, I looked down, and at my feet were two ruby slippers. I placed them on my feet and began clicking the heels together saying, "there's no place like home......there's no place like home". I found myself back at my computer, in my favorite chair.....and unharmed. Deb called in from work and said, "you aren't going to believe what just happened to me". "Have anything to do with SLIME", I replied? There was an immediate mutual understanding.

Flashbacks are hell. (But the story does explain the failure of the A/C unit in the early morning hours of the first night's stay).

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JMark, SENS, BS#83, LFS#4 / Deb, SENS, BS#82, LFS#5
88FLHS / 87FLHS