Yeah, here I am again, but hey, appointment to the Brotherhood of the Slug was a completely unexpected honor which was bestowed upon me, and posting this Slime Report is not only a tradition but a rule which must be executed upon acceptance and i'm already way overdue..

I had no idea what the "BS" was and figured that it was some number that you got for telling tall tales or being full of crap or something, but little did I know the fate which awaited me..

Anyway, you all know the story about my trip to Big Sur (which BTW rhymes with BS) with Kickstart, Kickstart Jr, Preacher and Redbeard, but I failed to give the specific details of the trip cuz, well....I was embarrassed..

I should have realised that something was up when I kept seeing a green tinge to the sun reflecting off of the Preacher and Redbeard's chrome. At first I thought that it was an acid flashback or maybe after passing by the nuclear power plant at Moss Landing we were gonna start glowing, but being so close to Fort Ord I began looking around for black helicopters with green laser transponders, cuz even though the base is deactivated this is a prime area for the government to hide them in secret hidden underground hangars..

I gotta say that having never met RB in the flesh, all this time I really thought that his beard was red and was rather disillusioned after having eyeballed him for the first time, but all of a sudden I noticed something unusual about his beard. Here we were riding somewhere between San Jose and Watsonville with RB in the lead and me holding up the rear, and his beard started to turn green with slimy looking stuff running down through the hairs onto his clothes and splattering into the wind all around me..

At this point I thought that I was seeing a religious vision, as it reminded me of the Scripture at Psalm 133:2 where it mentions Aaron being anointed with fine oil that flowed down his beard and upon his garments, but then a few miles after we met up with Preacher, he started oozing as well, but the funny thing about it was that not only could I not see it on me in the mirror, but I didn't feel a thing. Here I was all Dazed and Confused, but since I had forgotten to wear my foil hat and didn't want the other guys to think I was getting paranoid, I just kept my mouth shut and eyes open..

Why didn't I mention this earlier? Well, I was embarrassed after having ridden all those miles, pulling into gas stations, restaurants, etc, and knowing that everyone else could see it all over me, and probably thought that I was some kind of nut. I know, so what else is new, right? Hey, I understand now that the reality of it all didn't hit me until I was notified and it was brought to my attention, but the worst part about it was that no one had the courtesy and/or consideration to tell me about it at the time, not even those who were responsible. The SOB's.....I mean SB's..

And that's the way it was, so I hope that most of you enjoyed the story cuz it's all true and factual y'unnerstand. And for those who didn't, or had me killfiled for some asinine reason, you can all kiss my royal patoot and i'll be going back into the woodwork never to be seen ever again..

Honest..

-jm

BOYCOTT RMH
BS #179

1968 XLCH under construction
1984 XR-1000
1987 Jaguar XJ6 Vanden Plas

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