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(posted to r.m.h. on Sun, Jul 7, 2002)
Drinks on me while I tell the story... I've been eating Philly cheesesteaks all my life, and I know what I'm doing. There's a certain way to eat them, by what's called "assuming the position". Sort of bending forward at the waste so any of the cheese-wiz that gets mixed with the grease and drips out of the sandwich lands on the sidewalk in front of you, and not on your chin or shirt. So naturally, when a large contingent of NetScum descended on The City of Brotherly Love last Wednesday, I was careful to avoid the dreaded cheese-wiz on the shirt. It looks bad to outsiders, like you don't know what your doin', and surely I had to impress the outsiders! Imagine my surpise when halfway thru the sangwich (yeah, that's how it's pronounced in South Philly) I felt the hot slimy cheese-wiz not only dripping down my chin, but all down the front of my shirt, and into my shirt pocket! I ran to the counter, hoping nobody had seen it, and grabbed a handful of napkins, but when I went to wipe it off.... Oh the Horror!!! This ain't Cheese-Wiz!! WTF! It was some gooey, translucent, disgusting stuff stuck to my favorite ratty biker shirt. And I couldn't get it off! I had been SLIMED!!!!
so have another round on me if you read this far... |